Power to transform

When we were kids, life was simple. We dreamt about things and we even made those dreams a reality in our widely creative imagination. In our imagination, we were a pilot, president, astronaut, doctor, firemen, police, and whatnot.

Everything seemed possible and within reach. Then as we grew older and sanity and so-called maturity seeped into our life and we started making decisions. Decisions about what we want to be or do in life, who we want to be with and many more. The simplicity of life just vanished. Things started getting confusing and more confusing.

Nobody prepared us for this complex world we live in. The best part is the education system that’s supposed to prepare us for the future, only prepared us academically but not about practicalities of life. Or did we miss those classes? If they were then I definitely missed them. The criteria for a better job are based on that education and not your imagination or creativity or values. But isn’t life much more than getting a job? Getting a job is important as it pays for your bills, clothes, shelter. What’s your life beyond that?

Recently I was training a batch of young engineers freshly out of college and into their first job. It was nice to be back in the campus for few a days and be within young and fresh minds and play football, dance with them. In a year’s time when they will start facing the reality that’s when it starts going downhill.

Does this sound like your story? It does for me

I am sure you would do anything to get that simplicity back in your life. Well, one solution is to go back in time. The problem with that solution is that the Time machine is yet to be invented and who knows when it will be. Even if there was a time machine and you could get back in time temporarily, you would still have to come back to the present.

Another option is to start making it simple step by step.

When was the last time you tried to make a change that you really wanted and failed again and again? It’s like those smokers who decide after every smoke that this is the last one and will never be touching another one and yet after a few hours they are back at it.

I wouldn’t be wrong if I say that most of us are living a life which we never dreamt or are living the life which we probably wanted to avoid. Sounds familiar…..?

So what happened? Where is that simplicity lost?

Well, what really changed that over time we formed beliefs based on our experiences, events. We formed perceptions about things, limiting thoughts, thinking patterns and some habits. And we started

• Hesitating
• Having Self-doubt
• Started overthinking or being hypercritical
• Started worrying
• Procrastinating
• Hiding
• Fearing

I am not suggesting that forming beliefs are wrong, what I mean is that apart from positive beliefs, we formed negative, destructive and limiting beliefs. And those limiting beliefs have got us stuck, holding us back and are preventing us from achieving our true potential. We have accepted the status quo and are just living with it.

We have stopped taking life decisions about what we want and accepted whatever life has to offer. We have silenced the voice of our mind that used to be free. Now it’s just a whisper at the back of our mind which we constantly ignore and continue to live the life, we have. It’s not that every aspect of our life is bad or boring, of course, some of you may be doing OK in your jobs, relations, having all the money and luxuries that money can buy, but is it really fulfilling? Is it really working out the way you imagined it? I am sure for some it will be, but a good number are still trying to figure it out. In my experience I have seen lot many confused, living life unconsciously, accepting things as they are and not trying to change it because of fear of failure. I was also one of them.

Is it too late? Well, not really.

What really happened between then (child) and now is that we have stopped our mind to wander and are stuck in the daily struggles, we have forgotten things that we wanted to do and achieve and have created our comfort zones.

Getting out of this comfort zone is a challenge because over the years we have lived with so many beliefs, biases and that’s coded into our mind. They serve as subconscious autopilot.

Another way of putting it is that these beliefs and biases are codes that our mind has created based on experiences or events. The code gets triggered whenever we get into a similar situation and we do what we always do. Our mind is designed to protect us from doing things that are uncomfortable, scary, and difficult. So, we end up not getting into, procrastinating, fleeing, hiding from any such situation that makes us uncomfortable and making excuses for not doing it. That’s our comfort zone. Remember the last time you wanted to get into a discussion with your boss to tell him that his strategy was all wrong? We imagined that discussion in our mind and played and re-played it again and again and came out of that discussion as a winner with appreciations from the boss and his super bosses and probably an award with promotion. The reality, nothing like that happened and you are still working with the same strategy.

So, what does it take to get out of this situation? Live a fulfilled and balanced life. For ages, you have been sitting on your butt and doing nothing on it, about time you do something. The solution is you taking some actions.

The best news is that these codes can be overwritten with new ones.

I am sure that one thing that would be coming to your mind “if only somebody could motivate me”. I would say “Crap”. If you are looking for someone to motivate you, you will keep waiting.

You need to get clarity on your life, define your purpose and set meaningful goals. Most of us don’t have that. Once you have the clarity then

Focus + Commitment + Action

The power to transform lies within you, all you need is focus and commitment to the goals that you have identified for yourself followed by actions.

‘It’s not the big moves that change everything-it’s the smallest ones in everyday life that does’ Mell Robbins.

Don’t worry if your life goals are big, daring and may seem far-fetched. You will get there, begin with the smaller ones before you leap for the big ones and success will become a habit.

You can also look for a coach, it really helps to discuss, organize thoughts, get clarity, define you and your life goals to take some informed decisions and actions.

Your one conscious decision to act can change your life.

Author: Abhishek Budhraja

Disclaimer: Views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the text belong solely to the author. In case you have any suggestion, you can contact the author on contact@abhishekbudhraja.com or leave a comment below!